Celebrating life

This post is real hard to write, however, I am writing it because this is the precise reason why I wanted to start writing blogs.  I would like to use this as an outlet to express my feelings and thoughts and maybe help someone else dealing with the same things I am.  I am normally a very social person but when it comes to my feelings I am very reserved and just put a smile on my face as if nothing is wrong. 

Hmmmm… now where do I get this from?  Where do I get this strong and passionate attitude from?

My mother!

My mother passed away July of 2011.  It hasn’t even been a year yet.  She was diagnosed with an unknown source of cancer in January 2011 and she fought the hard fight until there was nothing else to fight.  There are no words to explain the pain I have felt.  She was my best friend! 

Today is her birthday!  I want to celebrate her life today.  I know this will be a difficult task but it is necessary.  Without the day she was born we would not have been able to experience the great life we did have with her.  

Today I will make it a point to be happy!  I will remind my oldest son about how much she loves him!  I will show pictures to the baby and tell him that even though she did not get to meet him, I am 100% sure that she loves him and is watching over him.  I will keep in mind the things that she did for us and how much she gave of herself for us.

My mom was always very supportive and always wanted me to follow my dreams.  I know that I cannot let her down.  I will keep on moving until I accomplish my goal of one day being in a classroom and making a difference to some kids.  I cannot wait until the day that I get there and I can smile and show her that I did it.  I remember the smile she had on her face the day I graduated college and she told me that no matter how long it takes or how hard it will be for me, she knows I will do it! 

My brother and I have always been close.  Since she has passed, we have gotten even closer.  My mom always told us that we are all we had.  We were family and that family always sticks together.  I know that my mom is happy that we love each other so much and that we look after each other.  I am sure she is very proud of us.  I am thankful that she made us this way.  I hope to show our kids the same values in family. 

When I told my oldest son, Brandon, that it was Lala’s birthday today he was very excited and asked me if we can bake a cake and sing happy birthday?  He wants to blow out the candles for her.  She would have let him do that anyways.  So we will be celebrating her birthday along with her life today!

WE love you mom! (Ana Landrian 1955-2011)